2026.05.07
It’s been a year and a half since I last wrote a blog post. Life still feels like walking on thin ice; I can’t afford to make any mistakes.
Over the past few months, I lost a long-time client I’d worked with for three years. It really hurt. Now, I’m trying to find remote work again, but opportunities are scarce and competition is fierce. I’ve even started looking into local full-time jobs, though they seem hard to come by.
To make ends meet, I’ve considered doing gig work like delivering milk or food. I’ve heard there are shady practices with milk delivery companies—middlemen squeezing prices at every level—which worries me. Since I don’t have a motorbike or e-bike, maybe I could try delivering food for Meituan on my bicycle? It’s hard work, but at least it’s better than being exploited by multiple middlemen. I’m also thinking about setting up a street stall to sell coffee or pizza. Even if I only make a few dozen yuan a day, it’s better than sitting around waiting for luck to change.
At the end of last month, I took on a book cover design project and finally finished the first draft today. To build my portfolio, I also agreed to do two trial projects for free when no paid work was available. Actually, doing free projects can be a good chance to gain experience when you’re out of jobs. But one client was happy with the trial version and then hired me at my standard rate—only to keep asking for endless revisions. After four rounds of changes, I couldn’t take it anymore because their vision didn’t match mine at all. If we were starting over now at this price point, it would need to be two or three times higher for me to agree to such heavy revisions. But it felt wrong just bringing up money mid-project, so I had no choice but to bite the bullet and finish it anyway. Another project followed suit: after five rounds of edits, the client suddenly stopped responding altogether.
Today is the first working day after the May Day holiday. Xena went off to work, and Sam headed back to school too. After dinner, the living room suddenly fell quiet. I looked up and realized it was already late at night. I wanted to spend some time watching videos or playing games together with them, but time slipped away without noticing.
I realize I always sit there, stuck in my work chair. It feels like a time machine: once you sit down, time flies away fast. By the time you stand up, the world has changed around you—kids have grown, friends are gone, opportunities missed... and I'm still spinning my wheels in the same spot.