2026.05.07

A Year and a Half Later

It has been a year and a half since my last blog post. Life still feels a bit like walking on thin ice. I am in a position where I simply can't afford to make mistakes.

A few months ago, I lost a steady client I had worked with for three years. It made me really sad. Lately, I've been trying hard to find remote work, but the opportunities are few and the competition is fierce. I even started looking for local full-time jobs, but right now, those feel out of reach too.

Thinking About Odd Jobs

To make a living and support my family, I've been thinking about picking up some odd jobs. I looked into delivering milk, but I heard there are shady things going on—middlemen taking a cut from your pay—which worries me.

Since I don't have a motorcycle or an e-bike, I thought maybe I could try delivering food for Meituan on my bicycle. It would be exhausting, but at least it's better than being squeezed by layers of middlemen. I also thought about setting up a small street stall to sell coffee or pizza. Even if I only make a few dozen yuan a day, it feels better than just sitting here waiting for luck to drop from the sky.

Trial Projects and Revisions

On the design side, I took on a book cover project late last month and finally finished the first draft today. To build my portfolio during my free time, I also agreed to do two unpaid trial projects. To be honest, doing free trials is actually a good way to gain experience when you don't have work.

However, it didn't go smoothly. One client really liked my trial draft and hired me at my standard rate, but then they kept asking for changes. After four rounds of revisions, I couldn't take it anymore. Our ideas were completely different. If we started over now, I would probably need to charge two or three times my fee to make up for all the back-and-forth. But asking to increase the price halfway through feels unprofessional, so I just bit the bullet and finished the job.

The second trial project was even worse. After five rounds of free revisions, the client just completely disappeared.

It was a painful lesson. From now on, I will strictly limit the number of revisions in my contracts. This isn't just to protect my time, but also to protect the project quality and my own mental health.

The Time Machine

Today was the first workday after the May Day holiday. In the morning, Zena went to work, and Sam went back to school. Before I knew it, it was evening.

After they came home, we had dinner, and then the living room suddenly got quiet. I looked up at the wall clock and realized it was already midnight. I originally planned to watch a video or play a game with them, but the time just slipped away.

I realize I am always sitting here, trapped in this office chair. This chair is like a time machine. The moment you sit down, time flies by at a crazy speed. By the time you finally stand up, the world around you has completely changed. Your kid has grown up, your friends have moved out of your life, opportunities have slipped away... but you are still just spinning in the exact same place.